Reality hurts... trying to forget the past, but the past hunt me. It's alround me, in every single thing. in every single part, every single word, every thought, in everyone I see.
Lies... They corrupt everyone... It takes the truth and transform it. Everthing, Everyone belive in it, like it was true... We are all liers, and once it's reveled, it consume you. You begin to get dirty, sick... Lie, it hide the truth...
True.. It's behind everything. It's hidden. Allways. No mather how many times somebody show it, or how many times you see it...
Never lie to me. Don't even try to hide the true from me. I hate knowing true from those who are innocent. First a bad true than a bad lie, and bad true together. Shit! Damn! Fuck! I'm over it...Fuck it all.
I'm angry... I'm confused... I'm sorry... I don't know who to trust anymore, just don't.
WOHO! dia 20/05/2005 as 20h05' !!!!
(sry for the portuguese, in english it would be a wrong sentence...)
droga demorei um pokinho.. ^^!!!
Night, May ??th, Wednsday(??)
Lost. I'm completly lost in the world today(tonight). A caught a cold, a demoniac virus which is boring me for about 3 months. Damn (sry the bad word)...
My mission for this year is to find another vampires, and help those who aren't vamps yet...(help them be humans again!!!) make a vamps-brasil or something like that... or go to london to find some friends...
'night everyone... some time I'll bring chester to comment here, he will like it...
Wow. I do realize how many friends I have. I hope friends, will be friends for ever and ever. My memory don't let me remeber somethings, and I almost forgot it. I don't know if I want more friends.
I'm always happy, I wish I new the secret but, I don't. No one ever asked me why I am always happy. I don't know I just do. Now, I do know why I was allways happy and it's changed. Friends. Forever. you all I wait... let me go shall we? good night everyone. See ya later, walligator!
"I dream... I dream..." Stop dreaming and make it real, NOW!!!(by Yuri)
Night, May 16th, Monday
Today, I think someone showed me a crucifix. My arm hurts, my legs, my head, my stomach, my hole body. I'm in pain, like I'm gonna die. right then, "back to reality".
Some people don't hear me. I sick of it. There are those who don't listen, who don't hear, those who pretend I don't exist. Some of those who know I exist, do it thw worst way they can. Laughts, jokes. those who pass by me, those who need my respect, and don't respect me. I'm back with a now "life" and I pretend to get my revenge and respect back. waiting for the right time...
Watch the past, bringing it to the present and fixing it, that's what I'm gonna do. Someday that would happen, and it's time. As I said, pat is past and all it's gone. What i can fix I will. Those thing that I can't fix and those thing that wasn't I who did, I forget about it. "Look behind just to laught, and remember what I did and what I didn't do". I can miss again and again, sometime I will fix it all, no matter what.
"I can do, I can do not, at least I will try again" "bringing the past to the present and try to fix it"-Starting next monday, I will sing Hakuna Matata every single day...
'night everyone... I can't barelly walk, so "Today, open your windows and let your dreams away".
Night, May 15th, Sunday
Today im tottaly different. I changed my behave 'cause I realized that I'm dead and I'm a vampire. I’m not the only one, there are many vampires like me. Now, trying to forget about past and think about future. What passed is past and now, trying to forget about it makes me feel better. Some days or weeks or even months ago, I died, and what happened after that was suffering. I lived for such a long time that I forgot what it is to have pain, what is to be hurt, how much did it hurt, and how to recover from the pain...
Next time, I'll use my bow with intelligence not just with heart, then I will try to hit a better target. I don't know what happened. Maybe the target was too hard that I couldn't hit it right, maybe the arrow was to fragille, maybe I used too much strenght or not enought strenght. Maybes are ruining people's life and death. Dying isn't a bad thing, at all. It made me realize what's to have a life changed, what's to have a death, what's to suffer. I don't suffer since three years ago. I had a life, and a good life. Then I realize that life isn't just what we live. There is pain, sickness, sadness, suffering; Death
Me, a vampire, I live on the night and try to remeber my dreams and my past, my future and present. Problems of the past are getting forgoten and I'll hunt some night dreams. My new "life": Friends, Happiness, Blood, and some shootings in the air, trying to hit the perfect target. good night and good slpe for the humans... those who live a life enjoy it... sometime I will get my soul back! (close your window and I don't attack you)
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